Our Deepest Fear

When I was training teachers I read that at his Inaugural Speech Nelson Mandela had spoken some inspiring words about overcoming our fear of our greater natures.  I used to quote from Mandela’s wonderful words as I thought them a useful thing to tell to young people.

I then found out that I had been misinformed and that Mandela had not written the words at all.  In fact, he was quoting from ‘Our Deepest Fear’, a poem by Marianne Williamson from her book, ‘A Return to Love.’

Today, I had another shock.  I found out that Mandela never quoted from the poem at his speech.  His sentiments and message were similar but the words were not the same.  I apologise for misleading people in the past.  But I’m not too repentant; at least people heard the poem.

As a historical novelist I am intrigued by how facts can morph into supposed facts that are actually fiction.  And how fiction can morph into what is perceived as fiction.

Nevertheless, both Mandela and Williamson’s words are worth remembering and worth quoting.  I shall quote from the poem today.  Marianne Williamson’s book, ‘A Return to Love’ can be found on Amazon and at other retailers. 51TTC6S6YHL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU02_

Here’s the poem.

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

 

 

 

 

 

Part 10 of ‘Outcasts’. #SampleSunday #HistNov

CHAPTER 5

BALIAN OF IBELIN

Jerusalem

Fear flooded the city like a plague.  It swept down from the Church and through the streets to the citadel.  The people of the city hurried towards the high battlements, desperate to glimpse what they were terrified to see.  Bernard, John and Simon shouldered their way into the crowd and were carried along to the walls.

There were no soldiers left in the city anymore so there was no challenge to them as they climbed the steps to the battlements.

The sun was drawing close to the horizon, painting gold the plain beyond the city.  A vast army, swollen to fifty thousand warriors, was marching into place.  Even as they looked, the last formations hurried to close the gap remaining between them.

The city was surrounded.

‘Perhaps our leaders will attempt another parlay?’ John said.

‘It did no good last time and it will do no good now,’ Bernard answered.  ‘The moment those fools refused to surrender, Saladin swore he would kill every Christian.’  He sighed.  ‘Just as the first Crusaders killed every Muslim when they took the city.’

‘So we must put our faith in Lord Christ.’

Bernard shook his head, wearily.  ‘Christ’s representative Archbishop Eraclius leads us now,’ he said.  ‘So if preaching and whoring are needed to defend a city we have just the man to lead us to victory.’

They gazed out at the army arrayed below them.  Most were infantry but to the rear trotted legions of horsemen, their spears glittering in the light of the failing sun.

But what caught their eyes lay directly ahead.  Scores of catapults and mangonels were already in place, loaded with huge stones.

‘Surely they cannot conquer these walls?’ said John.  ‘Not even with those machines.’

‘The walls might be strong,’ said Bernard, ‘but there are no soldiers left to man them.’

Simon pointed.  A small group of horsemen trotted forward from the foremost Saracen lines.

‘Horsemen,’ he said.  ‘Five of them.’

Intrigued, the three men hurried down the staircase to the gate.  They waited with the crowd until a postern door slid open and the horsemen entered the city.

The leader of the group took off his helmet to reveal the lined and haggard face of an elderly warrior.

‘Balian of Ibelin,’ Bernard said.  He turned a worried face towards the Ferriers.

‘What’s wrong?’ John asked.

‘In my youth I was one of Balian’s sergeants.  When he married Queen Maria Comnena I made some jest about him marrying for a crown.  I received a flogging and my dismissal.’

‘What has he come here for?’ said Simon.

‘His wife,’ said Bernard.  ‘She’s here in the city.  I was wrong you see.  Balian married for love.’

The man who stood by Balian was a tall man of about the same age.  Where Balian looked worried he seemed calm and relaxed.  He gazed around at the city as if remembering good times he had experienced here.  He raked his fingers through his hair and then stopped.  He had noticed them watching him and a broad grin of recognition spread over his face at the sight of Bernard.

‘You know him?’ John asked.

Bernard nodded.  ‘Jerome Sospel.  Balian’s best friend and lieutenant.’

News of the horsemen had spread and a committee of churchmen pushed their way through the crowd.  They were led by Archbishop Eraclius who rushed to embrace Balian.

‘Praise God,’ he said.  ‘You have been sent to save the city.’

Balian shook his head.  ‘No.  I have come for my wife and children.  Saladin gave me free passage to collect them.  I swore an oath to stay in the city for one day only and not to take arms against him.’

A fierce cry of anguish rose from the populace at these words.  Balian glanced around at the sound but clamped his jaw tight, determined to ignore it.

‘But that was an oath to an infidel,’ said Eraclius.  He stepped closer as though about to whisper but he made his voice loud enough to carry across the crowd.  ‘It is in my power to absolve you of your oath to the Saracen.’

Balian gave him an angry glare.  ‘I have come for my wife.  Where is she?’

Eraclius peered at Balian, his mind working swiftly.  ‘She is in the palace.  Go to her.  Be joyous in your reunion.  I shall come to you there later.’

 ***

The next morning the people of the city were overjoyed to hear that Eraclius had absolved Balian of Ibelin from his oath to Saladin.  Balian was now free to take charge of the city’s defence.

‘What do you think of this news?’ John asked Bernard.

‘I don’t know.’  Bernard fell silent and shook his head.  ‘Jerusalem is my home.  Our delegates were mad when they refused Saladin’s terms; it condemned the city to destruction.’

He glanced across at Agnes who was singing quietly to their daughter.  ‘I feared for my family,’ he continued.  ‘But with Balian here…’

‘You think there may be a chance?’

Bernard shrugged.

Simon strode into the inn, his face shining with excitement.

‘Balian has asked for every man to join him in defence of the city,’ he said.  He gave a playful punch to John’s shoulder.  ‘It will be a glorious battle.’

John’s heart sank.  This was what he had dreaded to hear.

‘I came to Jerusalem to be a pilgrim,’ he said.  ‘I did not come to be a soldier.’

Simon stared at him in astonishment.  ‘To be a pilgrim is a luxury at a time like this.  The infidel is beating upon the gate.’

‘I will not kill my fellow man.’

Simon stared at him.  ‘A Saracen is not a fellow man.  He is an infidel, damned for all eternity.  That is what the church teaches us.’

‘I do not believe it.’

Simon opened his mouth to reply but Bernard raised his hand to silence him.  ‘Hush, both of you.  We should not war amongst ourselves.’

‘I do not want a war,’ John said.  ‘With Simon or with the Saracens.’

‘You may not want a war,’ Simon said.  ‘But what if the other man wants one?  What if the Saracen is determined to have one?’

Bernard turned towards John.  ‘No one wants to fight, no one wants to kill.  And no one here wants to make you take up arms against your will.’

‘He may have sworn to be a pilgrim,’ said Simon angrily, ‘but he never swore to lie supine before God’s enemies.’

John looked up, his blood swirling with rage at the insult.  He checked himself.  It was this rage that had made him come on a pilgrimage, this rage which he had to do penance for, this rage which he had sworn to master, for Christ’s sake and for his own.

‘Shall I fight the infidel alone, cousin?’ Simon asked in a cold voice.  ‘Or shall I fight with you by my side?’

John said nothing.

Simon’s face quivered with anger.  He strode off but before he could reach it the door was flung open.

A soldier looked around.  ‘Is Bernard Montjoy here?’

Bernard looked at the floor for a long moment.  Then he raised his hand.

‘Lord Balian wants you,’ said the soldier.

‘No,’ cried Agnes.

‘He commands it,’ the soldier said.  ‘He demands it.’

***************

‘Outcasts’ Book 1 of my Crusades series, will be published this month.

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Back to England

Tomorrow we’re going back to England again.  This was our scheduled break to see my father, son and his family.  We had hoped to introduce my dad to my grand-daughter but because of dad’s double heart-attack he is still in hospital so that is no longer possible.

A disappointment for everyone.

Still, we’re seeing friends in London before going off to the West Country to see the family.  Looking forward to going to a BIG bookshop or two in London before we leave.

I love me Kindle and my Sony Reader but there’s nothing quite like the smell of a bookshop.

I’m using the wonderful wizardry of WordPress to post the next extract of my new novel on Sunday.  Getting very excited as I hope I’ll be able to keep to my (self-imposed) deadline of publishing the novel by the end of November.

 

Happy Birthday Dad. A roller coaster ride.

A few days ago I was talking with my father about the research he is doing for me.  I am writing a novel about the First World War and his father and father- in-law were both involved in this.  He has already found out lots of useful information and was very excited to be discussing this on the phone with me.  He lives in the south west of England.  My wife and I live on the French Riviera.  A thousand miles separate us but we keep in touch twice a week by phone.

My father is an old man yet his mental faculties are remarkable.  When we don’t have access to the internet and need to find a fact I will ring Dad and invariably he will know the answer.  I have come to think of him as WikiDaddy.

In this phone call, however, I began to get concerned.  My dad’s speech was slurred and he was losing the thread of his conversation.  I asked him if he was ok and he said he had blacked out and fallen down that morning, hitting his head in the process.

I phoned for help and within minutes the para-medics were at his house and he was whisked off to hospital.  I was so glad that my memory had failed the day previously and I had forgotten to call him.   If I had have done I wouldn’t have phoned on the day of his fall and would not have realised he had something wrong with him.

Something we found out was life-threatening.  His heart was working at a rate of only 30 beats a minute.

The next day, Friday, we discussed the possibility of him being fitted with a pacemaker.  The hospital said it was the only option for him.

On Monday night I was phoned by a distraught doctor to say that Dad had just had a cardiac arrest and the doctors were working on him.  They succeeded in restarting his heart but it had been very difficult.

We booked two seats on Easyjet at 2.00 in the morning and went to bed.  We didn’t sleep much that night.

Tuesday was Dad’s 89th birthday.  I rang the hospital early in the morning and was told that he had just had a second cardiac arrest.  The doctor said he was very poorly indeed.  When a man’s 89 and has had two heart attacks in quick succession that’s not too surprising.

My wife and I began to resign ourselves to the worst.  The question in my mind was whether we would be able to get to him in time.

So imagine our surprise when we were told later in the day that he’d been taken 50 miles in an ambulance to be fitted with a pace-maker.  The operation seems to have been a success.  What a fantastic birthday present for him.

Today I’ve been told he is sitting up in bed and enjoying a meal.  As my cousin says, he must be as tough as a horse.

I want to pay tribute to the ambulance service who have done so much to save his life, now and in the past.  And to the caring and professional medical staff at Weston Hospital and Bristol Heart Clinic who have worked all out to keep a frail old man alive.

It’s early days yet and we won’t be able to see him until tomorrow.  I just hope that the hospital staff don’t take it into their heads to give him the birthday bumps.

Happy birthday, Dad.

My Dad.

Part 6 of my work in progress. #SampleSunday #HistNov

CHAPTER 3 JERUSALEM

SAINTS AND DEMONS

Bernard heaved a barrel of ale onto the counter.

‘Good news,’ he said.  ‘The young Englishmen have decided to stay for a month.’

‘Excellent,’ Agnes answered.  ‘With the soldiers gone the city feels empty and our coffers are beginning to look the same.’

‘Do you like the English?’ he asked.  ‘You might be related.’

‘My great grandfather was English,’ Agnes said. ‘That was a long time ago.  In any case, these two are of Norman blood.  And my great grandfather was said to be the son of the Normans’ deadliest enemy.’

‘But do you like them?’

She paused before picking up a cloth and polishing a tankard.  ‘I like them as much as any other guest.  Why do you ask?’

‘They’ve only been here, what, three days and the boys seem to have got attached to them already.’

Agnes looked troubled.  ‘Do you think it is a cause for concern?’

‘I don’t know.  I think Gerard believes they will stay here forever.’

‘Gerard’s always excitable.’

Agnes came over to her husband and brushed her fingers through his hair.  ‘And what about you?  Do you like them?’

He grinned.  ‘I do.  That may be why I am asking the question.  I like them a lot, more than an inn-keeper should like his guests.’

‘That is because they come from somewhere far-away and exotic.  England sounds so exciting.  Jerusalem is boring and you hanker for adventure.’

He grabbed her by the waist and stared into her eyes.  ‘I have all the adventure I need just living with you.’

Agnes blushed at his words and a tiny smile grew upon her lips.

‘I like you saying this,’ she said.  ‘But I sometimes wonder if you don’t yearn for a little more adventure than I can provide.’

‘Not in the slightest,’ he said, pulling her close.

 *******

Later that day John sat in the courtyard enjoying the last of the day’s sunshine.  He closed his eyes and turned his face up to the sky, enjoying the warmth bathing his skin.  His lips felt dry and hot and he licked them slowly.  He tasted the salt from where he his sweat had dripped onto his lips.

He did not hear any noise but he suddenly became aware of a presence in the courtyard.  His first thought was that it was one of the boys.

But then he knew.  He knew it was Agnes.

He opened his eyes and turned to look at her.

She was leaning in the doorframe, a cloth and a plate in her hand.  She must be enjoying the sun as well, he thought.

His heart quickened.  Or perhaps she had been watching me.

‘I didn’t mean to disturb you,’ she said softly.

He shook his head.

‘You didn’t.  I wasn’t asleep.’

‘You looked very peaceful.’

He thought as if the breath was being squeezed from his lungs.

‘I was just thinking, just dreaming, day-dreaming rather.’

She laughed, a little tinkling sound which almost made him shiver.

‘I do that,’ she said.  ‘Or I do whenever I get a minute’s peace.  I’m afraid that isn’t often.’

He gazed at her but did not answer.  His mind struggled to find something to say but every phrase he formed seemed inane.

The sun had moved so that half of her face was mostly in full sunlight but half in shade.  The branches of the old olive tree flickered shadows across her face.  Almost like a bridal veil, he thought.  The line where light and shadow caught his gaze.  Her features, normally so bright in his imagination, were dimmed there but more alluring for that.

‘You look red,’ she said.

He touched his hands to his cheek and blushed even redder.

‘It’s the sun,’ he said.  ‘My skin isn’t used to it.’

She smiled.  He had no idea what the smile meant.  He guessed she may have realised that the colour on his face came from within.

‘John,’ called a familiar voice from within the inn.

He ignored Simon’s call, hoping that he would not find him and go away.

‘John,’ he called again.  ‘Where are you?  I’ve got something to tell you.’

Still John ignored his call.

Agnes smiled and glanced at the ground before looking up at him once again.

‘Aren’t you going to answer your cousin?’ she asked.  ‘He sounds keen to find you.’

John nodded and went even redder.  He cursed his cousin.

‘I’m in the courtyard,’ he called.

Simon appeared in the doorway and took in the scene.  A grin which looked knowing and lascivious broke upon his face.

‘I wasn’t interrupting anything?’ he asked innocently.

Agnes shook her head.

‘Of course not,’ said John quickly.  He got to his feet.  ‘What did you want?’

Simon put his hand to his mouth as if struggling to remember.  ‘Do you know, I’ve completely forgotten.’

He gave a courtly bow to Agnes, winked at John and went back into the inn.

Agnes turned and gazed at John.

‘I’d better go after him,’ he said.

‘I think you had,’ she answered.  ‘Before he gets any more strange ideas.’

John mumbled incoherently and walked into the gloom of the inn.

**********

The novel will be published later this month.

Dawn. Menton

It’s 7.15 in the morning and the moon and Venus are dangling in a brightening sky.  I was awake and ready for work three quarters of an hour ago but then my computer decided to update itself and took an age.

A watched laptop never configures so I decided to go onto the terrace and watch the world wake up.

Monsieur Martin the baker is busy in his shop, baking baguettes and serving early breakfasters.  A man is sipping coffee in one of the seats ouside and watching people hurry to work.  By the look of him he has no where to hurry to or maybe he does and is just very relaxed.  Or enjoying his first coffee of the day.

An insect chirps busily in the tree in front of me.  A blackbird wakes and begins to sing.  In the distance, closer to the beach, seagulls squawk at each other, their irritable sounding ‘yike, yike, yike’, cutting through the air.

The traffic is light and with no shrill motor-bike engines revving to prove the manhood of their riders.  An ambulance weaves slowly through the traffic, lights flashing but no siren blaring.  I assume it’s someone who had just had a heart attack, who needs speed but no noise.

The sky is a moving feast of clouds.  They barely seem to move while I watch them but when I look up after only a few moments the pattern has changed remarkably.  Like a huge kaleidoscope shaken by a child god.

The sky is brightening now.  It’s 7.25.  The moon and Venus are growing faint, I thought for a moment they had been snuffed out by the light.  They seem like dying lovers, all life ebbing from them, clinging on while sight remains so they can see each other until the end.  A red mist takes them and they fade away.

But then the reddening cloud thins and I can just see the bent bow of the moon.  The crescent is so thin it looks like it may break.  Yet somehow, despite its fragility, it remains in place, defying the brightness for a little longer.

The clouds over the sea remain dark but higher in the sky they’re turning pastel pink.  They look like a stepping stone path across the sky.

A train rattles out of the station, heading for Italy.  There was only one passenger on the earlier train.

One of our friendly doves has come to see me, staring across from its perch on the terrace edge.  It shakes itself and a white feather falls.

The trees have re-gained their colour now.  In this light I can see the line of trees in the gardens are turning brown, hanging on like the moon, but soon to fall and disappear.

This will be our first autumn in Menton.  The last of the seasons for us to experience; we’ve loved the winter, spring and summer.

What a pleasure awaits us.

Friends

Our very good friends Chris and Gina have arrived here for a week’s visit.

The last time we saw them was on the day we left England.  They came round to take us to the airport hotel and found us floundering and panic-stricken in the middle of an impossible number of jobs which seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

‘Don’t worry,’ they said. ‘We’ll take whatever you can’t pack to the charity shop or the dump.’

They disappeared while we drew breath and managed to get the last of our life in something nearly resembling order.  They returned an hour later, took us to the hotel, had a drink with us and left as quietly and as encouragingly as they had appeared a few hours earlier.

And now, after almost a year, we are back together again.  It’s lovely.

I am reminded, not that I needed to be, of the value and joy of true friendship.  It’s like a literature of life.

The Order of the White Feather #SampleSunday #histfic

English: Original Kitchener World War I Recrui...

English: Original Kitchener World War I Recruitment poster. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Constance Sturwood sat beneath a parasol.  One could never be too careful.  This hot sun will make me look ghastly, she thought.  She dabbed a handkerchief to her lips.  Her three brothers were playing croquet on the west lawn.  Peter and Edward were going easy, letting Willie gain more points than he should.  He suspected this but ignored his suspicions; glad that for once he was not being totally annihilated.

 

Constance sipped her lemonade.  Despite the ice chinking in the glass the lemonade was beginning to get warm.  She rang the little bell on the table and its clear noise tinkled across the lawn to where Jackson was polishing the cutlery for the dinner-party.  He put down a knife and began to make his way towards her.  She saw him pause.  The boy, Billings, had come into the room and was talking earnestly to him.  Jackson took a piece of paper from his hand, read it and stared out of the window.  Constance wondered vaguely what might be the problem.

 

Jackson stepped onto the lawn.  He did not, however, go towards his young mistress to see what she wanted.   He walked across to the young gentlemen.  His pace was not his usual calm tread; he hurried and he seemed agitated.

 

‘Master Peter,’ he said.  ‘I have just learned that we have declared war.’

 

Peter stood with his mallet resting on his shoulder and stared at Jackson.  Edward shook his head as if he did not believe his ears.

 

‘Hooray,’ cried Willie.

 

Constance stood up, her chair toppling over onto the lawn.  She hurried to her brothers.

 

‘What does this mean?’ she asked.

 

‘It means, little sister,’ said Peter with a grin, ‘that Edward and I shall go off to enlist.’

 

‘What about me?’ cried Willie.

 

‘You’re too young,’ said Peter.  He strode over and plucked up his blazer.  ‘Come on Ed,’ he said.  ‘Not a minute to lose.  We want to be first in line.’

 

‘Will I get a chance?’ asked Willie.

 

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Edward.  ‘It will all be over by Christmas.’

 

Constance placed her hand on Willie’s shoulder and watched as her brothers raced off to the motor-car.

 

Jackson turned towards her.  ‘I believe you rang, Miss.’

 

‘Yes.’  She ran her fingers through her hair.  ‘I wanted some ice.  But it doesn’t seem to matter now.’

 

‘I shall bring it immediately.’

 

‘It’s not fair,’ said Willie.  ‘I’m sixteen.  I’m old enough to fight.’

 

‘You’re still at school,’ Constance told him.

 

‘But Edward’s at Cambridge.’

 

Constance gave him an exasperated look.  It was lost on him because at that moment he spotted his father striding towards him.

 

‘Father,’ Willie cried.  ‘We’ve declared war on France.’

 

‘Not France.  Germany.’  He turned towards Constance.  ‘Where are Peter and Edward?’

 

‘They’ve gone to the village.  To enlist.’

 

His hand went to his mouth.  He stared at her in silence.  She saw his eyes moisten.  He nodded and walked towards the house.

 

Three days later, Constance’s best friend Dora, called.

 

‘They say it will be over by Christmas,’ Constance said as she poured Dora a cup of tea.

 

‘That’s not what Lord Kitchener thinks,’ Dora said.  She pulled out a leaflet asking for volunteers.  ‘My Uncle Claude, the colonel, says that Lord Kitchener thinks it will last three years.’

 

‘That’s ridiculous.’

 

Dora shrugged.  ‘Well it’s made a few of us girls decide that we should do our bit.’

 

‘In what way?’

 

‘By encouraging all the young men to enlist.  I’ve persuaded three already.  Are you game for it?’

 

Constance opened her mouth to answer but could not find any words.  She wondered what her father would think of it.  She thought of Peter and Edward who had already enlisted.   She realised that Dora was still talking.

 

‘And if it lasts three years then boys like Willie will be able to do their bit.’

 

‘No,’ said Constance.  ‘He’s just a child.’

 

Dora shrugged and sipped her tea.

 

‘I’ve persuaded three and Edith and Jane have persuaded two.  If you want to take part you’d better get your skates on.’

 

Constance thought about how keen her brothers had been to do their bit.  And Willie.  Even Willie wants to go and fight.  She frowned.  If enough men joined up now then maybe he wouldn’t have to.

 

‘It’s only right,’ said Dora.  ‘It’s for King and Country.’

 

‘You’re right,’ said Constance.  ‘I’m game for it.’

 

 ************

This story is the first of three stories about World War 1 in my collection ‘For King and Country.’

The stories focus on the Home Front, life in the trenches and in an observation balloon.  It is available from all e-book retailers.

 

The Emperor’s Spy by MC Scott.

This is an excellent historical novel, one which blends character driven narrative with tightly plotted action.  It is easy to let either action or character dominate the other; MC Scott avoids this by peopling her novel with a range of vibrant characters placed in dread peril. 

I was intrigued that one of her central characters is a young boy of about the same age as Edgar, my protagonist in The Lost King, with all the opportunities which this gives to engage the reader.  Math is a wonderful creation who will live long in my memory.

I loved many things about this book.  One is that people of different ages play key roles whether young like Math or old like Shimon and Seneca.  The other is that there are strong female characters.  They are tough-minded, sensitive and sensual and move the plot and the world of the book.  I hope to see more of Hannah in particular in future novels.

Scott’s writing is sensual and alluring.  As I read the book I was thrown into the furnace heat of Alexandria and the fetid stews of Rome: ‘…the dawn mist rising from the river draped itself wetly over the stalls, saturating them all in the Tiber’s bouquet of drowned rats and duck shit and mud.’

She is also adept at the telling and insightful phrase: ‘His bare feet were hard as hooves from a lifetime’s unshod wanderings.’  Lovely writing.

There were a few occasions when I felt the characters placement in a scene was stretching the probable, serving the plot rather than the milieu or the characters’ motivations but these were few.

I most especially liked the way in which much of the conflict was not about warfare and fighting, although there was plenty of that.  There was competition between chariot racing teams, fighting to master wilful horses, exhausting battles against immense fires, the clash of different beliefs and the conflict of loving too many people.  Real conflicts which churned my heart and caused me tears.

 

Adrift #SampleSunday #Kindle #histfic #WW1 #Author #shortstories

ADRIFT

It was an uneventful ascent.  The balloon slowed when it reached three thousand feet, climbing the last eight hundred in a more leisurely fashion.  The two men in the wicker basket peered down at the battle-field.  Without maps they could not have made sense of it.  Most of the defining marks of the landscape had been scraped away.  A few buildings stood twisted and broken.  For the most part the only things still identifiable were features of land such as the Passchendaele Ridge to the east.  And also, of course, the long snaking gashes in the earth which marked the unbroken line of trenches.

The two men worked quickly, noting down any movement of the German troops, counting the blasts from their artillery and pin-pointing areas which looked promising for their own guns to target.  They worked methodically, almost automatically.  The activity was a godsend.  It helped them hide the knowledge that they were tethered a mile above the earth and that German aircraft would be sent to try to destroy them.

They combined their notes and telephoned them back to the command post.  They had produced the vital information for the day; for the rest of their time in the balloon they needed only to watch for any signs of a sudden attack.

Dick Harris stared out across the sky.  Now that the first bustle of observation was over he became engulfed by his imagination.  He visualised himself naked, held up upon a pole like a hermit in the desert, like a reluctant Christ upon the cross, a butterfly skewered by a pin.  Senselessly degraded, senselessly endangered.

He shook his head to rid himself of such images, pulled out his watch.  ‘Ninety minutes,’ he said.  ‘That’s the essentials done.’

‘Very good, sir,’ said Sadler.  He said it with feeling.  Harris was known as the fastest observer in the squadron and that was why Sadler always manoeuvred to work alongside him.  The less time they spent in the air the better he liked it.  They were supposed to stay aloft for a minimum of four hours but for the last few months the company commander had turned a blind eye if they came back fifteen or twenty minutes early.  Both men were aware that a new commander was going to take over today and that he might have different ideas.

They fell silent.  The air was bitter cold and clear as glass.  They could hear the ponderous murmur of the guns far below.  They were subdued by the height but not extinguished.

Sadler unhooked his body harness from the parachute bag hanging from the balloon.  He bent and retrieved his vacuum flask, then re-hooked himself to the chute.

Harris watched him with some amusement.

‘I wish you would hook yourself to a chute, sir,’ Sadler said.

‘They’re a death trap,’ Harris replied.

Sadler sighed, unscrewed the flask and proffered the cup.

Harris shook his head.  Sadler passed him a hip-flask.  He gulped a mouthful of brandy.  Typical of Sadler to come so well prepared.  He gazed upon the older man, wondering as usual how the gulf of class and rank could still cling between men who the war made closer than brothers.

Sadler stared around.  He took another sip at his tea, quietly, as if fearful that too loud a noise would awaken a terrible danger.  He wiped his mouth and pondered why he was here.  He knew why, of course.  Because he had crawled over no-man’s land at theSommeand brought Lieutenant Harris back to safety.  When Harris had transferred to the Royal Flying Corps he had requested that Sadler come with him.  He smiled as he remembered how grateful he had been; how both had once believed it would be a cushy number.

‘I sometimes think I can hear my heart hammering,’ Sadler said.

Harris turned towards him.  He was troubled by Sadler’s words but was not able to mask his reaction in time.  ‘You’re not the only one,’ he said.  ‘Don’t worry.  As long as Fritz can’t hear it.’

The huge observation balloon above his head turned slowly in the freshening wind.  It contained thirty thousand cubic feet of hydrogen, a fire-storm in wait.

Sadler cried out.  He pointed.  A German fighter squadron was racing towards them.

‘Adrift’ is one of three World War 1 stories in my collection ‘For King and Country.’  Buy the collection for for $1, 77p or €0.89.