PIDGIN FRANGLAIS

When I was a toddler I could not speak English; instead I used my own language.  The only one who could understand it was my older brother Colin, so it must have followed some linguistic rules and had a reasonably consistent vocabulary.  I spoke at length to my parents, resting my hands upon my father’s knees as I did so.  When they could not understand me I would lose my temper and my parents turned to my brother to translate.

I often wonder what on earth I was saying.

Now that I live in France I am speaking my grown-up invented language: pidgin Franglais.

It started when I forgot the English word for edible fungi.  It wouldn’t come and in the end the French name popped into my head.  ‘Cham, Champ, Chami,’ I would stutter.  Finally  it would come, or so I thought.  ‘Champrooms,’ I would cry triumphantly to the puzzlement of market stall holders and amusement of my wife.  Mushrooms, champignons, what the heck.  I love ‘em whatever they’re called.  Especially with bacon in a sandwich.

Now there’s a French ex-pat story for another time.

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